Golf

[norman williams]

Golf

Golf balls are like eggs ~ they're white. They're sold by the dozen ... and a week later you have to buy more.
* A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there .

* It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps .

* When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m . to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?

* Golf is by far the ultimate love /hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.

* It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.

* A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

* Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.

* Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.

* A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.

* That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.

* If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

* If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.

* You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine!

* Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.

* It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not choosy about which fairway.

* If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.

* The greatest sound in golf is the Wosh, Wosh, Wosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway.

* A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.